2007 in review

Last year was fun and busy and there have been moments in that year where I actually thought “what!” hence my shock over Dale Jr leaving DEI, Michael Vick and his idiotic shenanigans abusing dogs, Jimmy Johnson winning the Nextel Cup, The Patriots (gag) 15-0 and the fire under Tony Romo and T.O. the quit “comparing the Manning brothers” debate and giving props to the fans that stood by the Dolphins and Raiders.

D.Wade special edition sidekick I had to have and the egad moment of viewing the cell phone bill for my total quantity on unlimited texts, the all star games, MTV and Resident Evil movie Premiere all here in Las Vegas. Jack Sparrow the lack of rum and sea turtle to make us laugh, loosing friends / loved ones over senseless acts, careless driving, and health issues, seeing other states from a different perspective, Blaqk Audio reminding us that 80’s deep synth pop in a Depeche Mode flavor is AOK, painful body piercings and tattoos, listening to opera music crossing over to pop, pop crossing over to country.

Standing under Rhianna umbrella, Timberland Presents Shock Value and shocked us all with sick ass mixes that encouraged a legless person to dance, Mika cartoon motion cd and i too want to be like Grace Kelly, Fall Out Boys Thanks for the Memories crazy ass monkey video, the fact that everyone wants to live and party like a rock star, friends finding new relationships, family members just being there as always, God for blessing me at last and giving me the gift of growing life, morning sickness, slim jims, cans of spaghetti o's, and medications to help with the severe morning sicknesses (i still have).

Reality shows that encourage you to throw something at the t.v. but you don’t; i.e Hells Kitchen and Amazing Race, other people blog spots that are randomly funny and full of wit, and lets not forget the crossover episodes of CSI with Without a Trace. The Tim Burton/Johnny Depp team – go Sweeney Todd (there is a message people go see it). Turning video games and books into movies was okay; this year let’s see some more movie creativity.

Finally good ole faithful resolutions!
Resolutions! Resolutions! I’ve had so many resolutions last year; this year I’m only going for three - Continually loving life the family and the friends that comes with it, live vicariously in a positive fashion thru others and giving birth to a healthy baby.

Last but not least HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

cuz I'm the M in me

you know what really surprise me? the fact that I try to make things right. I try to understand who i am and what i want to be. I try to dream in colors and i try just to try. I realize that is all so fucking stupid why the hell am i trying - i mean dammit this is my life, who the hell said i have to be the way you think i should be.

Im going to me; eMMe cuz I'm the M in me.

Almost lived a dishonest life

After ‘fessing up to many things it is very nice being brutally honest. - Emme

Not Almost! In Conclusion I’m pregnant.

When two pink lines appeared on the stick I thought I did this wrong. I will wait till morning and take it again…

The next morning I did the test again and two pink lines appeared again. Something is wrong with this test; I read the instructions again. I went back to the grocery store and bought myself two more test – same two lines…

HOLY FUCK I’m pregnant. I called my OB-GYN in a total happy hysteria and the nurse asked if I was okay and set me up for an appointment with the doctor.

That was several weeks ago. Tomorrow is my appointment and I’m nervous, excited and worried…

Conclusion almost made…

There is this time where I am faced with some serious decisions to make.
I am faced with several at this very moment and I think its just best to put them off till I get back from seeing BLAQK AUDIO this week.

Ice Almost Numbed

I just got dissed and dismissed…. *sigh*

OMFG I just got dissed and dismissed for the second time this year by the same man because:

‘‘I manipulate, use, lie, toy and humiliate ppl’ He can see why people dump me and yet it is I who do not know what I want. He is also finished with me and not so politely told me to fuck off.’’

After all that has been viciously said to me about the kind of person I am I asked myself a few questions:

What can I say? Has he hit a nerve? Is what he say is true about me?

All I know is that I am as numb as a person being stoned with crushed ice cubes

Too Perfect Weekend - Well Almost

I must say I was a bit skeptical when the trip was off to a very bad start when my flight to San Francisco was delayed and they did not have our car reservation for a mustang convertible, we settle for a PT cruiser, it was red and it was a convertible but for some reason we looked like a bunch of fruits yet he was a he into me and I am a she into him.
It got better once we got to the B&B 1801 First and I couldn’t stop myself from glowing because in the time period he and I spoke and hung out briefly he was able to pin point that simplicity is just fine for me; I like it and I loved it…

Sum up of this weekend:
Friday: The couple we were hanging out with were loud, annoying and flaunted there money in the poorest of taste it irked me viciously. I was polite and smiling my usual Emme self and I was really surprise when it was decided that I was a treasure he should keep. I got drunk that evening on an excellent bottle of Pine Valley Carneros Merlot that was in our room and I requested that bottle for the rest of the stay.

Saturday: We did breakfast in bed Saturday morning follow by a couples (shudder) train ride thru Napa on Saturday afternoon which includes lunch and yet other glass and a few of the merlot I fell in love with and that was nice. Dinner was just as tasteful as lunch was on the train we had a selection of cheese brought to our table with the Pine Valley Merlot. I can only remember the two out of three cheeses - mahon and manchego cheese considering my rather tipsy nature. I got rather happy on yet the same bottle of wine that was waiting for us when we got back to our room courtesy of the guy next to me. . I know he was rarely drinking any wine but I did see him sip a glass or two of the Chateau Potelle Cabernet which was really nice. It remind me of a summer moment on a beach house somewhere on Martha’s Vineyard and that is odd considering I’ve never been to the Vineyard nor own a beach house (Hahaha)
Sunday: Morning we ate breakfast rather slowly with the couple we hung out with briefly Friday night and Saturday afternoon; did a really early check out. We got back to Las Vegas around 7:30 that evening…

TODAY:

I am now on the road to sobriety from this free offering of wines from vineyards promising the tangiest, the tartest, the fruitiest, and everything else a wine drinker can relish on a Napa Valley holiday.

This Fire is Almost Out!

I have passion; I feel passion but i do not know what i want. i want it all - I'm yearning love and passion and I'm being selfish since I want them both!

This proves in this quoted lyric. ~~*Will you live in hope or dark desire? What can I say? Fuck love give me fire. ~~*

Can love be greedy? Can a person love more than once?

Almost close to near

I’m standing in the supermarket chugging down a Monster Khaos and a donut that is oh so good. Looking for that caffeine rush and a sugar high trying to wake up from one crazy ass weekend; I began to paint a picture of what happened in that oh so crazy ass weekend; had me some red, yellow, black a few chunk of liquid vomit here and there, another piercing and tattoo, a casual smirk, a random thought turned into a debate and finally a total of five hours of sleep for the whole weekend and there you have it…
But it was in that moment I accidentally bump into the guy in front of me. He glanced at my wrist tattoos and he smiled and showed me his. I almost did a jig; another AFI fan – swee to the eet!! We got to talking and he was also aware that Blaqk Audio is a Davey & Jade side project and it was another double swee to the eet when he let me to know that he is going to the same show in San Diego like me and I as a caring Despair faction / Blaqk Audio fan I invited him to road trip with the rest of us. So now I got a total of 5 people road tripping to San Diego and no place to sleep as of yet – hahahahahaha

Almost gone Blind

Two roads and so many shorcuts...

You ever hit a moment in your life when nothing make sense and what you worked so hard and so long for become to unraveled right in front of you. A puzzle in your life have become uncompromised your sensibility is questioned and you become unsure, slightly hesitant and reckless on decision making… that is where I am. … Bloody hell!

Hysterical Blindness

Almost...

First and foremost I would like to say that the crush moment has past and I am cured. Now wasn’t that fast – I based my cure on spoken words; I told him something and it’s already around the office. If only my eyes were darts, *sigh* but dare to dream. He thought is was one of my random thought outspoken and expressed only for opinion; he, off course apologized and I only see him as a very sexy coworker that will only be touched by my hands in my daydreams *clears throat*

Now for a really serious matter; music!! I live it and breathe it and at this very second I am listening to Blaqk Audio “CexCells.” I bought two cds; one for the office and the other for my car since I don’t like shuffling my cd from one place to the other but I only do this to music I really like and can’t get enough off.

This is a hot list cd and I have already spread my enthusiasm on Blaqk Audio I pray for another future work of art really soon from Davey & Jade but I pray they do not stray too far from (<3) AFI.

Annoyed w.myself...Well almost

I’m getting really annoyed over the fact that I am losing control of my heart and I wish I had no emotions…

Almost choked

*cover face in my hands* I have a crush! You know the sweaty hand racing heartbeat bull shit hahahahaha *sigh* I am so gay.

Almost in slumber

I'm falling asleep, sniffing the lavendar scent of pillow and sheet. Inhale exhale I turn left and sigh happily. I turn left again and hug the pillow closer. I turn left again and I'm pulling the sheet. I'm sinking into sleep at last and I turn left again and I'm falling I'm falling and hit carpet hard! I fell off my god damn bed. Again! : (
- Emme

Dreams are almost real in odd fashion

I had a dream about a guy I haven't spoken too for a long time and in this dream. I saw him walking in park with girlfriend and I stopped them both, an animated conversation commenced between the three of us and then we're pregnant and my immediate congrads. I was happy for them both...I woke up in the need to contact him... contact was never made but I
found out that he got himself in quite a predicament: a confusing and twisted work life and an unplanned pregnancy.*raise brow*
- Emme

Almost Something

Saturday: I got torn up on mimosas and vodka and tequilla shots as we (me and my friend) celebrate her birthday...I dropped her home and in my drunken stupor I prayed I didn't crashed. I found myself going down a path I've known so well needless to say *smirk as I play with my barbells*...
- Emme

An Almost WTF Moment

Friday: I woke up at 8:ooAM went downstairs, made myself a bowl of cereal, turned on the tv and press play on a recorded episode of "Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends" and I'm munching away enjoying my Saturday...(The nite before I took two Ambient Cr instead of one so I had my full 8 hours of sleep)Nobody called me from work because they thought I was already at work doing inventory on "The Model Unit" needless to say I felt like it really was a Saturday. I was upset that I confused the two days and I got teased at the office; which I did not like (grrr)everything was urking me and the only thing that made the whole day worth it was my
boss one word sentence " I Understand "
- Emme

© Almost gone emotional

Well here I was shaving my legs this early morning, rocking out to Tina, wishing I had legs like her and watching myself in the mirror...

I'm in the desperate moment of my life in the need to grow some wings; at this moment to calm my sanity within I smash with an electric guitar the distance and not being able to lock our fingers.

Becoming a saint living in the sweet arms of a man who's that far away. How can I express the frustration since I am overwhelmed with it. I'm going to pretend that he is leaving on a jet plane right now and come get me and make me wings… OMG what is happening to me? No, wait don't answer I already know the answer.
- Emme is feeling this

© Almost as Random as Emme can be…

No 2o15: If Adam had beaten Eve in biting into the forbidden fruit would it have been a banana?

No 155: If Jesus had a cereal what would he call it? (JustJustin)

No 64: whatever happened to Opie's mom on the Andy Griffith show? (CJW, Oh.)

No 838: Life is like rubber bands. Sometimes you break down. Most times you can stretch and rise to the occasion. (Nancy S. NV.)

No 2499: If Dracula has a girlfriend I bet they'd both be happy when she is on her period. (CJW, Oh.)

No 11o8: If you're such a smartass why isn't your ass doing the talking?

No 87o: If your clock is ticking how it is that the opposite sex can't hear it?

No 134o: A person true colors are beautiful as a rainbow – what happens if the color is black?

No 27: If a critic can criticize can a criticism criticize a critic?

No 92o: If you crack a joke why isn't it broken?

- Emme oo flossy flossy

© AlMoSt aS aN EmpTy

nothing is a word almost lost in its letters...

i feel so close to it! perhaps almost is nothing-if that, nothing at all.

- Emme oo flossy flossy

Almost scratching his man balls

No not really; I'm actually trying to better myself...

I can remember when I've been asked these words: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?"

I was in 3rd grade and my immediate response and I was serious; 'I want to be a nurse'.
Then that got boring, I was determined to become a dolphin trainer, then I hit seventh grade and I wanted to become a slacker I saw the feed the children commercial and I did a report on Mother Teresa and I wanted to be a saint; a nun. Tenth grade my mom became my hero and I wanted to be a mother like my mother.

I saw Clueless and I swear to you I sawmyself as a movie star, I grew more respect for Oprah and I then I wanted to be the next Ophah. Then an artist, the next wonder woman, an idependant woman.
Nothing never serious because I wasn't taking myself seriously.

Then one day back in 11th I read my first erotic fiction The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A. N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice) I lust pleasure and the way it made me felt mentally emotionally physically.
Then I thought I can do this I too can write a book.

Then reality sink in writing erotic fiction is hard your imagination has to keep burning I mean you have to play up on your own imagination when It comes down to sex.
So here I am now- I can't even sit long enough to write out a shopping list but I got a couple stories and there pretty good...

I am making a personal goal to myself: I'm going to get this book going...*A pause while I get sidetrack*- OMG is that the latest Robbie Williams cd, I must get it...

NOOOOO, focus Emme, you must focus and think about auto signing somewhere.

© The Almost Married life of a single person

"The international rules of infidelity" article on msn.com... I had an affair w/ a married man yrssss ago and you know if he told me; 'you see this ring' (the effer wasn't wearing at the time) 'its not going to end.' Then I'd say no and I'd say no to whatever wld come next. American
"married" men / women really need to be educated and they should at least follow the rules that international "married" men/women follow.

- Emme

© Almost random

... but not random enough, I mean there's only two colors in the bag...
- Emme

© Almost finished

You're just as wholesome as a warm bowl of hot cereal. Surreal vs Reality is realized and noticed and I am aware.
- Emme

© I've Almost Came

" I'm cool and you're cool; lets find water and make ice."
- Emme

© Part XXVIII: Anger & Depression Almost meet again

... cross eyebrows, frowns
What goes around; let it will be -dammit!
You're bummed, she's bummed & they're always pissed. Grrrrrr.
Throw good china on the ground and walk on them bare feet.
Slap it hard to make it hurt.
Kiss them to show your heart.
Run fingers in his hair; kiss my face & push me away.
Fear within is always fair!
Lies, dammit lies.
Take that effin bow - now dim those lights and gavot off the stage, you
shallow -blank-.

- Emme

© Almost cried...

Can't use chopsticks if my life depends on it, but isn't this just
beautiful.
- Emme

This is bloody fantastic and I'm Almost tipsy too

I'm sitting here on the toilet taking a pee chatting with other friends
via text message. In scope and persceptive last night came to mind. A
half empty bottle of sharaz trance dancing in my undies with the broom
as my balance beam. I was itching for something and you're in the corner
watching me with a smirk on your face. The half empty bottle no more
where the hell did all the wine go. Yet I'm still trance dancing to
fragma holding the broom with dear life before I realized its not you,
him, someone, or anyone. I just want to dance, I'm still itching though
and a trail of perspiration begins to form between my chest. This bra
must come off. Come here and take my damn bra off I thought I might said
as I opened the second bottle of wine...

- Emme

© Almost? No, they did it!

... and that's all I'm gonna say about that!
- Emme

© Almost I said

Last night in my dream...

I'm talking to Brandon Flowers and a group of friends walked up. Pain placed a candy cane behind Brandon ear and said take a shower. Pain then sat down on my side and handed me a pencil and told me to draw. I began to draw an amazing pic of you and when I looked up Keke was seizure dancing to the Age of Aquarius and Lion appeared while I was drawing he said smiled and said monkey. Brandon got up and turned into bones and began to seizure dance with Keke.

OMG I will never eat cake like that again!
- Emme

© Almost Let It Get Away

For the ones that sleep alone

I'm doing the memory thing again. I pulled out that mental memory box again.

You know the one – "Don't Throw Away"… *Sigh*

They're pictures, posters, crushed flowers banners key chains and, sentimental verbiage blah.

Not really sure why I'm brain memory lane it again? I was just chilling here on the bed getting myself in that self devotion being good to myself state.

Think its time to close that box for a rainy day moment and focus on me. After all it's been three days since I said OH.
- Emme

© Almost got it to go

Dedicated to the part of me that is always running from something...

I did it
I've done done it
I was this close and I almost got it to go
- Emme

© It's Almost That Time for Me Again

Dedicated to my inner paranoia.

I'm an open book...which means my life should be shared. I don't needto explain to anyone the way I am, nor why you're so hella pissed off atme.

But what I don't understand is, why the undercover-behind-back-bullfarts?

You care so much...my inner paranoia tells me that's why I'm getting the silent treatment from you and everyone else.

I've been told I think only about myself and that I love talking aboutmyself more than listening to others. Just once I should inquire about the people around me and their goings-on.

So for everyone reading this blog, let me give you the sorry side of my life in just a few sentences so you can pity me. I can lay my head on your shoulders and cry my heart out just for the sake of attention....

Okay, I'm done for now...

....as the title of my blog states: It's Almost That Time for Me Again

So here is me being me....yet again.

I've cheated sexually to find some kind of happiness. Still, I've never used my friends as an excuse to find that happiness.

But you know that.

If I got it, I am willing to share it with you.

But you know that.

If I say you're beautiful, when you're looking or feeling like shit, Imean it; you are beautiful.

When words are not formed for a long time...then I finally find it, and tell you because I've discover the words to put on paper -- hence my muse --I want you to know.

But you know that already.

Yes, I admit I randomly start speaking about nothing in general. Itmakes no sense to you...maybe it does to others...I do it all the time

But you know that too.

Today I'm making amends with my conscience because I'm tired of
reaching out to you and saying "I'm sorry....I miss the friendship," and getting no answer.

I was scared because I wanted to talk to you so badly...to the point of nearly posting an ad in the paper.

But that moment has passed.

I'm finding peace.

Hell, it's a lot of work being this bummed out over something that has metastasized within me like a cancer.

So I have come up with this conclusion -- at this moment, 10:30 am PT Wednesday January 10, 2007 -- I FINALLY GOT IT.

I truly get it.

I can see it.

I can feel it.

I heard it.

I'm thoughtless, I only think of myself and not others.

I act as if my problems are more important than others.

I stretch the truth.

I play stupid and sacrifice the here-and-now for the yet-might-be. I ignore those around me to "worship at the altar" of my cell phone. Helpless to resist its seductive call, I would blow off the intimacy of the spoken word with my friends for the text message that was my
preference.

I'm sure there are more...but, hey, being the center of attention is a lot of work, and I'm working on it.

Want to hate me even more?

Go ahead.

To my inner paranoia - thank you.

- Emme

© Almost Random 1, 2, & 3

1. Just yesterday I was bellyaching about my breasts and how big theyare and how sick of them I am with them and how I prayed that God would bless me when I wake up the next day with smaller perkier breasts.

Then it happened – a Breast Cancer commercial…

http://www.komen.org/intradoc-cgi/idc_cgi_isapi.dll?IdcService=SS_GET_PAGE&nodeId=298

2. All day yesterday while playing Madden o7 I had the compelling urge
to say this after each touchdown:

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle the cow jumped over the moon.The little dog laughed to see such sport and the dish ran away with the spoon.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

3. I had a dream about A-ha last night; they were older but they still looked good and still sound the same and they were doing a charity concert – guess what kind of concert – yes, a Breast Cancer awareness concert. They asked me to speak and I couldn't believe that I was on stage with them. I'm my dream I know the stats, the numbers the programs the donators. The out reach programs. OMG I new it all. I was amazing. When I work up the only thing I remembered from my speech was the number twenty five.

© History: An Almost Lesson

There has to be a simple way to express my excitement over "300", other that Hip Hip Hooray or Yippee, *but I just did*. I'm not going to say it stars to very sexy men either; Gerard Butler as Spartan King Leonidas or Dominic West as Theron…

*History lesson in general is/can be such a bore; really it can be unless you have such an imagination like mine. When I found out that they were doing a remake on the 300 Spartan soilders the first person that came to mind was sexy Yul Brynner (rip) as King Leonidas*

So this Battle of Thermopylae takes place a really bloody long time ago I say four hundred-something something B.C. *Before Christ* …

Unions of Greek cities are fighting the Persian army in the pass of Thermopylae. Obviously you know their outnumbered but no worries; the Greeks are pretty damn smart.

A small army, 300 to be exact *well exact is too strong of a word but hell the movie is 300 and 300 is listed all over the website regarding this part of history* led by King Leonidas of Sparta blocked the only road through which the massive army of Xerxes couldn't pass.

*Did I say that the Greek were smart; yeah smart and cocky, but I still
love this.*

Seeing this Greece opened there eyes even more at the unremarkable valor of these men and thus uniting and……..

The movie 300 on the other hand is based on graphic novel king *I'm calling him king because I can* Frank Miller.

So Frank Miller retells the story of King Leonidas and the 300 Spartans solders in the bloody Battle of Thermopylae. * I expect to see blood in this movie* where many and a lot die.

*I expect to see some knife in heart scenes as well*

This man as a writer never disappoints; with the direction of Zack Snyder (with the movie Dawn of the Dead under his wings) let's hope 300 is as clear as the night we drink the blood of a human

*yeah that sound so out there but hey this is my history lesson let me
write it*

http://300themovie.warnerbros.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Miller_(comics)

- Emme says Go Colts

© An Almost Conscience moment.

Goodnight Mr.Lobster, he he he.

Obviously my tummy did the talking on this...
- Emme says Happy New Year and Go Colts