© Almost Called You

Temptation Realized but Maintained:

She have bitten her fingernails to the skin, randomly typing words on her keyboard, a bit of drumed fingers on the desk, a few pacing, tapping of her bare feet on the tile floor and humming a made up song all for the reason of NOT doing something she want to do so desperately.
Trying to keep her mind from wondering what you and your kids are up too and what you have planned for the day.
Trying to preoccupy her time by doing things she don't want to do; like work on a really shitty Wednesday morning as she listen to 'synth' music all in the hope that she will not pick up her cellphone, and dial your telephone number by heart.
She have to call; she want to hear your voice - she need to hear your voice.
See it's the want/need game again playing tricks on her.
Oh my bloody god, thirteen more hours to go.

© Almost Hello

As I stand alone in the cold, I realize that if I remain motionless for just a second I can hear a hello from the distance.What kind of hello is this that I hear as I remain motionless?It's warm and fuzzy and full of cuddle.What a crock of shit.Oh look… It's raining now and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. The cold air and the rain. it's just a matter of time before the warm hello has turned to ice...My tears have turned to ice. Yes, I'm crying...But it's not like you care anymore since your hellos are no longer warm and full of cuddle. I'm crying because it is my release; cathartic tears to wash away the ugliness and reveal the self worth beneath.I remain motionless in this cold wet thought of mind and wonder.Released through tears, my confidence swells with all this spirit, character, and soul mixed with a little bit of doubt...What chance do I have if I respond to your hello?Why bother, since it is so much better not to say anything at all.

© Almost Obsessed

The make me feel good man. I don’t know what kind of relationship we had but it was great in the beginning but now I think he was trying to hard and I didn’t like it and I sure as hell didn’t want that.

I wanted to be around him
He wanted to be around 24/7…
I just wanted to breathe.
He wanted to inhale.

Then I wanted him 24/7 and he finally exhaled and I still wanted him.
Boredom began to sink in and I know it was there but I refused to see it. I thought with just a bit of that something extra special I can bring him back but he was already gone.
I began to get paranoid, depressed and questioned my self worth.
I don’t need that so I let him go.