Hey All!!!
Guess what??
You know the saying: “Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” Well, that is a lie. Words can hurt – they can hurt in the cruelest way. It has been more than a couple years since I’ve spoken to this one person, but, for some reason whenever her name comes up I just shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes, say “whatever,” listen to the latest, and move on. But, whenever my name comes up on her end, she always has something nasty to say.
For instance: Lunching with a girlfriend the other day, I mentioned her name and that she’s prego too. I am actually happy for her since she did so much to get pregnant. Later in the conversation, when it was mentioned that my shower is coming up, her response was “I hate that lying something nigger.” With the boldness of a gorilla, she had the audacity to call me a nigger. Does this mean that when we were friends she only saw the color of skin?
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My first thought was “Wait a minute I happen to enjoy the color of the skin I’m in. I’m from the islands: my dad is black, but my mother is Carib Indian. Actually, my grandfather on my mother’s side was a white man. I have freckles, and my two older siblings could actually pass as white. I was just listing excuses in my mind, and avoiding the lesson here. This must be a lesson since I am in an interracial relationship and I’m about to give birth to an interracial child. How would society see her? Would they see her as a black girl or white?
My spouse and family are very opinionated and, therefore, I seek their guidance. I received the best response from my spouse and father: “This has nothing to do with being in an interracial relationship or bringing an interracial child in the world. Negative responses from someone you never speak with are expected – her way of expressing dissatisfaction to the fact that her friends are still your friends no matter how hard she tries to make you look like the bad guy. She may be jealous that you got pregnant before she did; perhaps she lost all the attention when your name and shower came up or she just might be angry. Don’t feel sorry for her and never judge her character – just move on and you’ll be fine and hopefully eventually she’ll move on too.”
Yet, that negative response still bothers me; she is still a viciously mean person who is not very happy and takes pleasure in pushing people around. I actually wish I was there so I could say what I really thought about her. I’ve thought about it, and it would be a waste of my time, because I’m an adult here (she is actually older than me by five or six years) getting ready to be a mother. I have better things to do than worry about comments like that.
And to the friend who responded in my defense, I thank you, and I give you a high five.
Okay, I have to go now—the baby is pushing on my bladder, and I have to go pee for the millionth time today. : )
