Current things that is bothering me right now…
I’m in a new relationship and I’M so upset and jealous with my significant other for being with there last girlfriend. I’m serious – I wanna bop him across the head and go WTF were you thinking. I feel like she took the joy out of him and what I have is the remnant of just a piece of him. I know he still look her up. How can he say all these pretty things to me and do that behind my back and think I’m not going to find out.
Sarah (R) is pregnant and I am so happy but yet I can’t help but feel I’ve lost a friend. I mean who can I talk twisted with regarding everyday woman bodily functions life and have him/her understand. Seriously I can’t just say Panty Vietnam or I want to stab at my ovaries to just anyone and think they understand.
I am slightly bothered by the way things are between me and my sister Char right now, we got very verbal and we got into each other face and in my head I was thinking God please tell her to step back or I’m going to step her off me. Well God didn’t listen and I pushed her. I didn’t care then but I feel just awful I still feel awful. I know things will never be the same tween Char and I.
I am so fukkn pissed that I am not going to see AFI next weekend – I cried a river. That show was a very big deal for me and I think no one seem to understand how affected I am by it.
I am very bothered with my happiness. Seriously I am happy yet I am very unhappy and it is a lot of work to be in pursuit of this happiness. Why can’t it just show up for me when I need it?
8.23.2010
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